I feel like there’s this whole subgenre of fic that just really, aggravatingly, doesn’t get bickery banter couples, which means that a lot of the content for them just ends up reading like emotional abuse.
Like! The thing about couples that bicker for fun, the thing that makes it romantic, is not ‘I hate this and I’m sad and hurt and uncomfortable, but I’ll put up with it because I love you and at some point you’ll start being nice to me’. That’s not fun bantering! That is, at best, a serious miscommunication!
The thing that makes it fun and (potentially) romantic is ‘We know each other so well that we can be rude and gross and weird together, we can transgress the rules of polite society with each other without actually causing any real hurt, because we know where the real lines are and don’t have to guess at them or use the rules from a game that neither of us wants to play.’
It’s fundamentally about intimacy, not about treating your SO like they don’t have feelings that matter.
